from head to toe

what a confusing night. everything's spinning in my mind. what would I be? pretty rich? where will I continue my college? school of medicine or designer interior school? everything seems so different now. it's getting even harder and harder by time. time moves faster. in another hand, another problems were spinning in my mind too. a bitter sweet *bitter bitter* memory of mine were built up again. it's getting even closer to me now. we both know everything is very different now between us, and i especially know what the consequences i'll get after this. being left or being together with *again*. twice let down and no more the third times! that's what my logic said. but if my heart say no? or still believe that must be another chances? what must i do? you know I feel like I'm hanging without rope, walk without direction, fly without wings. everything's so confusing. school, life, love, are they really as important as what people said? getting older means must gets ready for more complicated things in life because everything will be harder and complicated and we must resolved itself. be mature is the only key. "if you're not clever enough, don't ever give up. there's always luckiness that may lead you for better life". I remember what Mr.X, my chemistry teacher, said "tidak boleh mendahului Tuhan. Jangan buru-buru pikir negatif, lakukan saja sebaik-baiknya, sisanya itu urusan Tuhan". but from head to toe, I swear! I really confused about what my future brings...